How do you put a price on a life? I have asked myself that question this evening as I watched the boys ride their bikes, did laundry, cooked dinner, and now as I type this. I have to admit that I am tired. We are trying SO hard to fundraise. I have been making cakes left and right, made hairbows, bracelets, signs, baked goods. We have been doing the Farmers Market.... David is doing a newspaper route 3 nights a week....... Might not seem like much but it is when you add in our usual 40 hour a week occupations, plus continuing to care for our family. Even with the addition of a bonus from work, which I was so thankful for, we are still no closer to being at our first step. I look at the figures of what we need and we aren't even close. Why is there a price to provide a family to a child? How is it okay?
Now, I am going to go ahead and address those who keep wanting to suggest foster care. My heart is not into "temporary" and I could not handle investing in a sweet life and have it ripped away. We aren't there at this point in our life but I am so thankful for those that are. This isn't an option. Yes, I know that the state will cover costs. The state isn't going to be able to repair a devastated family who had their child given back to their family, and yes, it happens.
Please, if you have a suggestion for a fundraiser, please let me or David know. I wish I could explain so you could understand our hearts and why we want to do this. I feel it so strongly, as does David. I ask how God could lay this on our hearts. I prayed this out loud as I left work the other day. I said "God, we can't do this. What are we thinking?" and I turned the radio station right then to hear a man tell his adoption story of his daughter Deborah. Coincidental? I didn't think so..... I laughed and answered back "Okay. Let's do this." I feel so overwhelmed with so many decisions and ask that you please pray for us. Please...... we need sincere, heartfelt prayers.... prayers that God will provide or that we will see that this isn't His will. Or whatever you want to pray, we just need them. I am so thankful for Bethany B., Molly H, Penny H., Arlene H., Misty B., Pam H., Glenda E. for listening to me and for really being supportive. I find it funny that some of our closest friends seem to be MIA with this and I am SO appreciative that these people have actually been interested and listened to me. I can't tell you girls what that means.